Think you’re bored with your job? Not enough of a challenge? Wish you could stay at home all day? Think again.

7:30 AM — Get up and eat an everything bagel with butter, washing it down with way, way, way too much chocolate milk.

7:45 – 10:30 AM — Scour every job search engine known to man in an increasingly frustrating effort to find gainful employment. Apply to approximately 40 jobs, most of which I will probably never hear from. (No, I’m not getting discouraged at ALL.)

10:45 AM — Text from Kelly reminding me to pick her and Pat up from the airport at 12:20. Right.

10:45-11:00 AM — Try to uncover the source of cat piss smell in my bedroom. Cannot be on bed (as usual) as comforter is in the wash and sheets are dry and clean. Unsuccessful. Figure it’s possible that I think everything smells like cat piss as this is becoming an increasing problem.

11:00 – 11:30 AM — Journey to Wal-Mart (read, hell) for amazing Space Bag as clothes are piled precariously on every flat surface in bedroom and closet that could be considered a shelf.

11:32 AM — Have a mini panic attack as realize am supposed to be at the airport in less than an hour and my car is so filled with crap that I can hardly wedge myself in it, let alone two other adults and three days worth of luggage.

11:35 AM — Have bigger attack when I realize that my car keys are nowhere to be found.

11:40 AM — Find spare keys (nothing short of a miracle) clean car, and on my way to Midway.

12:25 PM — Text from Kelly that they’ve landed. Leave cell phone lot (excellent idea, btw — kudos to Midway Airport.)

12:30 PM — Drive directly past arrivals terminal for no reason. Freak out trying to turn around in crowded airport.

1:35 PM — Arrive back home without further incident.

1:37 PM — Buzzer rings. I answer door, assuming it’s the mailman as sometimes I forget to get our mail and he can’t fit anymore in there. This time have excuse, though, as still cannot find keys.

1:39 PM — Am sorely disappointed that is not mailman but instead Jehovah’s Witnesses wanting to provide me information on my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

1:50 PM — Make horrifying discovery that cat piss smell is coming from closet filled with clean clothes. Commence laundry.

2:15 – 4:00 PM — Search Craigslist for jobs as that’s the one I forgot this morning. Btw — what’s with all the dog walking jobs in Chicago? Apply to several, save the one for an administrative assistant that requires EIGHT YEARS experience supporting high level executives and pays $8.50 an hour.

4:15- 6:30 PM — Talk to Tony, check email, Facebook. Update this website.

6:45 PM (right now) — Realize have completely forgotten about laundry and now have to redry everything.

7:00 PM — Commence drinking?